Fear and Fascination

A meditation on childhood and spooky stuff

Hey friends. Welcome to Fiction for the Cosmically Disturbed, a newsletter for family, friends, and readers of Splatterpunk Award-winning author Lucas Mangum (hey, that’s me!). Sometimes, I give my thoughts on what I’m reading and watching, share sneak peeks at works in progress, and write posts about things like mental health and family life. If that sounds like something you’re into, make sure you’re subscribed so you never miss a post.

Earlier last week, I went with Jean and the kids to Costco to buy some food. Our daughter had gone with her brother and Jean the previous week. She remembered that Costco was where the monsters were. By monsters, she means Halloween decorations. I will never complain about Christmas decorations going up early in the stores again because I was overjoyed to learn that August wasn’t even over yet and stores were already getting into the spirit of Spooky Season.

While at Costco, we had to go back three times to look at the animatronic werewolf (who our daughter named “Ah-ooh”), a ten-foot-tall grey alien, and a pumpkin-headed ghost (who our son named “Candy Corn”). It soon became clear that we weren’t going to be leaving the store unless at least one of these creatures came home with us. As a family, we decided on the werewolf.

All week, our daughter asked about putting him together. I reminded her that it was too soon, and she was mostly agreeable to this, but she did occasionally drag Jean, her brother, and myself into the garage to look at the picture on the box. At one point, she had me drag the box inside, but one night at bedtime, she said she was scared of “Big Bad Wolf,” so I had to put him back in the garage.

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Six years ago, I brought home a pumpkin-headed creature from Home Depot. He showed up in my author headshot for a long time because as soon as I bought him, we took a selfie. I named him Pumpkin Ghost and hung him from a section of the roof that hangs over the path leading to our front door. When you squeezed his hand, he gurgled, “Come closerrr …. coooome closerrrr!”

I remember the first time my oldest looked at him, with a mix of wonder and uncertainty. It was the same feeling I remembered from being a young kid into spooky things—things that fascinated me, scared me, and made me laugh, sometimes all at once. Pumpkin Ghost was a fun decoration for me, but unfortunately, my oldest was just a little too young, and it started giving him nightmares. We thought he would grow out of the nightmares and the fear of the dark—a dark which he believed contained the sinister Pumpkin Ghost—but the fears did not subside.

At Killer Con 2019, I gifted Pumpkin Ghost to Wrath James White at the end of the weekend. We told our son that Pumpkin Ghost was gone, and we could tell he was relieved. The bad dreams still came from time to time, and once he even asked Jean if I had “killed Pumpkin Ghost.” Jean told him that I had not, but that Pumpkin Ghost was somewhere far away.

Fast forward a couple of years and Wrath is opening up a kickboxing gym. I volunteered to help him get it ready and had our son with me. He stayed in the office watching Wild Kratts on my phone, while I got to work. It was October, and a section of the gym was cordoned off as a haunted attraction. After a day of putting up ropes, hanging heavy bags, and shooting the shit with one of Wrath’s non-writing friends about (of course) professional wrestling, I decided to have a look at the decorations.

Wouldn’t you know it: Pumpkin Ghost was up in one of the corners, black eye sockets downcast and green hands dangling out of his torn cape. I laughed, took a picture, and showed our oldest. He laughed too, remembering Pumpkin Ghost and how it used to scare him. After we left, he asked if we could get Pumpkin Ghost back. I told him that we could not because it was rude to gift something to someone and ask for it back. He understood, but over the next few months, he still occasionally asked.

Last October, when meeting Wrath and Shane for a writing session at Wrath’s new house, I was pleased to see that Pumpkin Ghost is still getting some good use. He was propped up in the yard, among some gargoyles, tombstones, and a severed head. He clearly went to a good home, which is a fate I would wish upon any and all Halloween decorations that overstay their welcome someplace else.

Our son is now eight, and he enjoys things like FNAF, the Jurassic Park movies, and YouTube videos where influences visit allegedly haunted locations. A couple Halloweens ago, he himself dressed up as a long-cloaked figure with a pumpkin mask. It felt strangely like a full circle moment for us.

When Pumpkin Ghost lived with us, our son was a year younger than his sister is now. I bring this up because I see the way she looks at Ahh-ooh with the same mix of wonder and fear that I noticed in her brother. Last year, she didn’t get scared by the Halloween decorations in the neighborhood. In fact, she insisted on going for walks with me to see them on a daily basis, and we must have watched Nightmare Before Christmas once for every day of October and a few times in November.

This werewolf statue is seven-foot-tall. His eyes light up, and he growls and howls while moving his arms and tilting back his head. He was relatively easy to put together: no tools or screws were required, and working alone, I got it done in half an hour. That was today, by the way. (I’m writing this on a Sunday).

Jean and our daughter were out on a playdate while I built him, so I sent Jean a photo of the completed project. She showed it to our daughter who apparently couldn’t stop asking to go home and see Ah-ooh for the remainder of the playdate.

Once Jean pulled into the driveway, I faced Ah-ooh toward the door and switched him on. I filmed our daughter’s reaction as she entered the house. I won’t post the video here because I try to protect the kids’ privacy online as much as possible. To paint a picture, though, she at first didn’t even come inside. She wasn’t scared, but she was certainly trepidatious, only entering when Jean and her brother walked beside her. Later, she warmed up to Ah-ooh, though. Jean took a photo of me standing in front of him with both kids. I’m 6’4, and Ah-ooh stands a whole head over me. This is why werewolves would terrify me if they were real.

Thankfully, I know Ah-ooh is just a decoration. Our daughter isn’t so sure, but she does seem to understand that he can’t hurt her. I guess we’ll find out at bedtime. If so, I’ll have to remove his arms and tail and put him in the garage until October when he’ll get to stand on our lawn and scare anyone who walks by.

I love Halloween and always have. That’s why I do this horror stuff.

Speaking of scary things and their relationship to childhood, I was told by a medium friend this past week that my nine-year-old self said he loves collaborating with me, and that he wants to do it more often. That was a crazy bit of insight, and here’s why: when I’m doing my best work—the stuff that moves, the ideas that capture my imagination and demand to be written—I’m channeling him.

Nine was when my imagination truly bloomed. At times it was an unwieldy thing, a wildly growing terrain I simply couldn’t leave. I didn’t ever want to leave it. It led to some struggles in school and a lot of loneliness, but back then it made up for a lack of close friendships and academic success. It offered me a freedom that I seldom experienced elsewhere.

If what my medium friend said is true, I’m glad my nine-year-old self is still around and aware of what I’m doing. He’d most likely be hyped to learn that I’m writing and publishing books, just like he wanted to do. And yeah, kid, of course you can come along on the next project. I can think of some ways you might be able to help.

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Signed hardcover bundles for Barn Door to Hell are sold out, but I’ve added signed paperback bundles to the store. You can order one for yourself right here.

As I foreshadowed last week, my book The Bleak Season is now temporarily out of print. For the upcoming second edition, I’ve got a cover by Don Noble that I’ll be revealing here soon. There will also be some bonus material, including a new story (or two) and a short essay. Look for it this sometime this winter.

I’ve got some appearances to announce! The exclamation mark is for the fact that I usually only do Killer Con and Ghoulish, Scares That Care if I really want to let my hair down. It’s rare that I have appearances (plural) upcoming, but here we are!

On 9/12/24 at 4pm, I’ll be signing books alongside Wrath James White, Shane McKenzie, Aron Beauregard, Daniel Volpe, Judith Sonnet, and Kristopher Triana at VORTEX BOOKS AND COMICS located at 477 Locust St, Columbia, PA 17512. That’ll be an all-star lineup of modern splatterpunk authors in the store owned by legends Brian Keene and Mary SanGiovanni. What?! How does this even happen?

Seriously, if you’re in the area and love horror, you do NOT want to miss it.

On 10/19/24 at 4pm, Wrath, Shane and I will be signing books at 11 BELOW BREWING, located at 2606 Spring Cypress Rd Spring, TX 77388. We’ll be joined by Jae Mazer, Lisa Vasquez, CL Conolly, and many more Texas horror authors. There will also be tattoos, tarot readings, music, and beer!

Central TX horror people, we hope to see you there!

That’s it for now. Until next time, here’s a sketch of a zombie coming out of a swamp.